Saturday, February 21 | 0 comments
She always knew, she have talent on studying. Maybe not a lot and her grades is just average and sometimes may reach below, but her parents believe in her.
"You can do it. We know you can do it."
She want them to know. She maybe be able, but she don't have a motivation to do it. Sure, she loves science, so that's why she choose pure science-stream class but all of the subjects are dragging her down. Deep, and even deeper to the total dark abyss.
Sometimes, she have this interest to take an art major once she graduated the high school. It's because she have passion in it, and maybe a little ability in it. Sometimes she want to follow 'her' steps. 'She' is once like her too, from a pure science-stream class...
See? That's why this story is not originally hers is slowly becoming her story.
But at the same time, she loves science. She really do. She have passion in Biology, and thinking that she might as well striving to become a pharmacist too. She loves hospital, the all white scenery makes her more fascinated with it so might as well making that place as her workplace.
But you know this thing called expectation?
Her parents want her to choose something from science, as she is originally studying science after all. She knew that, and a long time ago, she already made the decision too. She don't want to fail her parents hope and she have that interest anyway, might as well just follow the path.
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| Her sketchbooks on her right side and the revision books on the left-side. |
But her interest and motivation is divided, you see?
So without she fully realized, she always like various artists page on FB, studying art tutorials and even bought some art supplies that she want to try them out, buying lots and lots of sketchbooks so that she can always sketching and improve her art more...
She can't help it if she caught herself in the middle of drawing or sketching something. Every single time she do that, the least person that she want them to know she is drawing is her parents. She felt if they know she is drawing without really studying, she betrayed their hopes and expectations.
and its like a miracle last night, she is currently drawing and her mother walked in the room and caught her in front of laptop and sketching something. This is their conversation.
"What are you doing?"
"I am s-sketching something, m-mom."
"Have you done your homework?"
"N-no, probably tomorrow."
"...I see."
Her mother walked out from her room. She felt kind of relieved, that she is not mad at her or something because of neglecting her homework and drawing instead. For finishing touch, she need to take some water because she is using watercolor. At the kitchen, her mother was there and she noticed her.
"Have you finish your drawing yet?"
It's a simple question, a really and really simple one and she was not expecting that kind of question will came out from her mother mouth. Do you know how she felt that time? It feels like her tears will leaked out anytime. So she quickly took the water and went to her room as fast as possible.
This is the one that she is drawing that time. It may have not finish yet, but she will soon.
For the honor of her mother that once upon a time ago, was a person that rejected her ability to draw.
Don't get her wrong, she really love her mother for forever.
Labels: Life
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